‘Volt’: The maudit anglophone fan page

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News ¶ Whys and wherefores ¶ Comedis personæ ¶ Name-checked

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This is sort of the waystation for old, old, old pages about Volt – where old Volt pages are sent to pasture, essentially.



The new “season” of Volt starts the 23rd. I’m even using a brand-new tape. What, you thought I would give up? Krystle, c’est hard pour moi de te dire ceci, but I’m in this for the duration. And did you know you could work as a researcher there?


Volt has just the most amazing fans! Try Brett Stewart!

There’s a French-language arm of TVO (Television Ontario) called TFO that has a newsmagazine/entertainment show called “Volt”  ¶  which employs several very good friends (and former consorts) of mine  ¶  that, though intended for kids, actually has a young-adult fan-base and features very many pro- and proto-gay items.

The mental images are nothing but one shock after another. Thinking back on all the known homosexualists of Volt, I try to imagine this matter/antimatter conjunction. Guy Gagnier? Too boyish. Charles “BRIDE OF CHUCKY” Duchesne? Quite obviously a shared taste in music. Steve “THE DIGGER” Diguer? Could explain the constant references to Brother Love Canal.

Oh, but then it hit me, and I took a sharp breath. Nadyne Kasta, where are your standards?

Off for the summer. Nothing that happened between me and any Voltiste has, however, been forgotten. (Whatever could I mean?)
I failed to mention that, back in mid-July, I bumped into Steve “THE DIGGER” Diguer on rue Parliament St. of a Saturday. Had a nice chat. Looked good (and quite solid) in his raglan-sleeve XXXtreme-sportsesque top. Is apparently doing a lot of scoring.
The lovely and talented Guy Gagnier has somehow gotten himself mixed up with the arriviste Rachel Giese, whom I would describe as a careerist if she displayed any history whatsoever of sticking with a job. Guy is now a producer ¶ presenter on some dumb-arse television program on some dumb-arse queer network. I didn’t think it was possible to sink lower than a French-language youth show in an English-speaking province. It’s a job, I suppose.
First response to my complaint posted, with retort.
Hey, we’ve got competition! Je suis le plus grand fan de Volt is now on the air, and claims I do more bitching than praising. I wasn’t aware we were keeping score. ¶ In any event, buddy’s got a lot of catching up to do.
I’ve now been name-checked on the show so many times that I am maintaining a whole section on this page listing them.
I have filed a complaint with the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council over the repeated telecast of horrific animal violence on Volt. Don’t fuck with your fans. [Since rerouted to the CRTC]
Ma folie de Manau  ¶  What’s there to like about a French Celtic rap band? With bagpipes? Well, what’s not to like?
The 2000 ¶ 01 season has débuted, and boy, are we in trouble.
I visited TVO Open House down at the frigid, windswept Harbourfront today, hoping to put a long-cherished fantasy into practice. The real fantasy involves espying Guy or Charles at Woody’s and sashaying up, hovering too close for comfort until I am finally noticed, and then uttering the simple phrase “I am Joe Clark.” ¶ It was not to be. No Volt booth at the Open House! Just a so-called Quartier Français tent (capital F sic). My day was rescued (a) by seeing sexy fag Kevin Brauch in shorts (he literally ran away from me at a basketball press conference a few years ago) and (b) by spotting Charles Duschesne in a fetching hat. I carried out my fantasy, and we spoke for a full 90 seconds. Lovely hazel eyes on that man, and he’s terribly reserved and dignified. “Be sure to tell the kids how charming I am,” I commanded.
I was seen to glide majestically through the halls of TVO the other week alongside a remarkably tall producer type, whose manhood was confirmed by his carriage of a pager positioned like a toolbelt. Yet my day was completely made when I walked right past Simon Garneau!
We are back on the air! Volt reviews have returned. With a vengeance.

Whys and wherefores

Elsewhere, I wrote about TFO, the French-language service of TVOntario, and its most megafabulous program, Volt, describing it as “itself reason to watch the network.” It’s a youth show that isn’t childish, a program ostensibly for teenagers that feels like what it actually is, a program created by guys and gals in their 20s. I’ve watched the damn thing nearly every weekday for three years, going so far as to label myself with the unmistakable mark of the loser by tuning into the New Year’s Eve disco-dance party. I even appeared on the show (on December 8, 1998, talking about biketrials).

Accordingly, I am ready to come out of the closet as an anglophone Volt obsessif. It’s getting to the point where I feel I have something to say about nearly every episode! and so I now launch Volt: The maudit anglophone fan page.

I would also point out that Volt, like MusiquePlus of yore, has excellent taste in music videos. As a music-video queen (see articles), I applaud their selectivity. I have my own suggestions, of course. And did I mention that I read, perhaps in Exclaim, the swearing of allegiance to Volt by an anglo musician specifically because of its habit of playing the bestest videos? (Now all I have to do is find the damn article.)

Comedis personæ


I told you already: This is the maudit anglophone fan page. Don’t expect sweetness and light. But understand something: Rather like the reviews at MightyBigTV, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t love the show. Look up “Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition” for the operating philosophy.

I am Name-Checked on Volt

I’ve been mentioned on Volt by name four times and once again by implication.

  1. 9 February 2000: It is alleged that I ring up the show to tell Mathieu and Dano their segment is boring.
  2. 14 November 2000: Discussing the federal election, “Joe Clark” is described as “not just a guy who makes Web sites.” I am touched.
  3. 18 December 2000: It is alleged that I am the one who left an anonymous complaint about gruesome, gratuitous depictions of animal violence. Um, no. I filed a written complaint later.
  4. 12 February 2001: Slightly delayed from the one-year anniversary of the first name-check, Marc “CREATIVE ON DEMAND” Bishop mentions my remark that he kvetches too much about ugly Web sites.

And the indirect mention: The long adjective chains in my complaint are lampooned on 16 January 2001.

On this page:
News ¶ Whys and wherefores ¶ Comedis personæ ¶ Name-checked

Zip over to: Show reviews